A Little Odd for me....

I am going to try and keep this as light and witty as my post's normally are, but I need to write and I know that there aren't many people who still read this as often as they once did thanks to other revenues. But I have really been in kind of a funk lately, and really been questioning things lately as well. Things that I can admit i would never have thought that I would be questioning. Mostly WHY'S i guess. Why this, why that, why not this, why them, etc. Well today I had a "revelation"! How can I expect God to do for me, when I am not trusting in Him to do it for me. Sounds very simple, trust me, but it has taken me a little while to realize and actually admit this out loud as well. Don't get me wrong, my family and I are truly blessed beyond anything that I could ever imagine, so it's not that I am not getting blessings or things like that, but there is this one thing, that I want more than anything else in the whole entire world and it's just not happening, yet! And to be very honest the not happening of this one thing has had my whole world turned upside down for a little while now, and it was so stupid of me to give in to such a thing i know, but again, easier said than done I suppose. So any way, this post is not supposed to be about poor poor pitiful me, but that I have realized that without my trust in God for this thing, it could never happen. I am going to work really hard on trusting God that no matter what, this is what God has in store for my life and as sad as the thought of never having this happen is to me, I just have to trust that there is a reason beyond my pea brain understanding. I sometimes feel alone in this endeavor tho, I will admit that as well, don't get me wrong, I have an amazing husband who is the most supportive and caring man, but none of the people even remotely close to me seem to be having this problem, none that i want to talk to about it because I am ashamed, but I am not stupid in believing that I am truly alone, i mean i know that there are millions of people who face this same thing day in and day out just like me, but they aren't here with me. So one of my new things in 2010 is to just throw my brain out the window and listen to what God is putting in my heart, and to just TRUST, TRUST AND OBEY! Thanks for letting me vent/write! <3