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A new thought!

I have been thinking lately (scary I know), just about everything that we have going on right now. The ex is having a flare up and can't get it thru her thick skull that the kids DON'T WANT to see her, so she thinks that if that is the case then she doesn't have to pay child support and all this other stuff, and all this stuff about someone trying to take the house out from under us and what's worse is that it is someone we know, and all this other junk going on, my neck hurting me and any way, I was thinking today as I was sitting in the car rubbing my neck trying to see traffic without turning my head, how amazing it is that God in His most infinite wisdom knows everything and thankful that He doesn't always answer our prayers as we ask them. I mean I don't know what I would have done with my neck and taking medicine and all if I had been pregnant, or the few previous times that I thought that I was, but it turned out to be a cyst on my ovaries instead and how painful that was and all this other stuff that has been going on, that if i had been pregnant would have greatly affected the child and it's well being. As sad as that is for me to say, I can honestly say that right now I am okay with not being pregnant, but trust me, that won't last for long, just until my neck stops hurting!! But I am just so thankful again for God and His grace and mercy and not always giving us what we want exactly when we want it. I am so thankful that He knows better than I.

A Little Odd for me....

I am going to try and keep this as light and witty as my post's normally are, but I need to write and I know that there aren't many people who still read this as often as they once did thanks to other revenues. But I have really been in kind of a funk lately, and really been questioning things lately as well. Things that I can admit i would never have thought that I would be questioning. Mostly WHY'S i guess. Why this, why that, why not this, why them, etc. Well today I had a "revelation"! How can I expect God to do for me, when I am not trusting in Him to do it for me. Sounds very simple, trust me, but it has taken me a little while to realize and actually admit this out loud as well. Don't get me wrong, my family and I are truly blessed beyond anything that I could ever imagine, so it's not that I am not getting blessings or things like that, but there is this one thing, that I want more than anything else in the whole entire world and it's just not happening, yet! And to be very honest the not happening of this one thing has had my whole world turned upside down for a little while now, and it was so stupid of me to give in to such a thing i know, but again, easier said than done I suppose. So any way, this post is not supposed to be about poor poor pitiful me, but that I have realized that without my trust in God for this thing, it could never happen. I am going to work really hard on trusting God that no matter what, this is what God has in store for my life and as sad as the thought of never having this happen is to me, I just have to trust that there is a reason beyond my pea brain understanding. I sometimes feel alone in this endeavor tho, I will admit that as well, don't get me wrong, I have an amazing husband who is the most supportive and caring man, but none of the people even remotely close to me seem to be having this problem, none that i want to talk to about it because I am ashamed, but I am not stupid in believing that I am truly alone, i mean i know that there are millions of people who face this same thing day in and day out just like me, but they aren't here with me. So one of my new things in 2010 is to just throw my brain out the window and listen to what God is putting in my heart, and to just TRUST, TRUST AND OBEY! Thanks for letting me vent/write! <3

Finally....

Yesterday was what I can officially call Thanksgiving. I cooked ( everything), we ate with family, then went and visited more family and ate some more. It was great, like when I was little. It was sooo much fun, being around the people you love, eating some amazing food and having wonderful fellowship. That is the way it should be. Thank God we didnt have to go and spend it with the ex again and wont have to from now on. See, next year will be her year again, but J.T is turning 18. This new age does not come without some mixed emotions, at least for me. I am glad for him that he will be 18 and wont have to deal with her and her crap anymore, but sad for me and Jamey because our son is all grown up and heck I just got him only a few short years ago. I wasn't sure how I would handle this situation, but now I can see it is going to be like any other mother who's child is all grown up and ready to move on. Anywho, of course she had to ruin the night, it was going too perfect i guess. But it just kills me, she can pick and chose when she calls and when she texts and answers back, but we have to answer her right away. Well last night Brooke spent the night with her auntie Gale and J.T said he didnt want to talk to her, so after a few ignored calls and texts she sends this: "I GUESS YOUR NOT GOING TO LET ME TALK TO MY KIDS ARE YOU"? Well this boiled a fire in my soul so deep I wanted to spit, but J.T got on the phone and well, she got to talk to him but, probably not about what she wanted to hear. Needless to say it was a very short phone call! But I just dont understand why some people cant take a hint. But other than this 30 minute catastrophe my day was incredibly perfect. One for the books I think!! Happy be-lated Thanksgiving to all my dear Family! I love you!

Ignorance is Bliss!!??

Man it has been so long dear computer, I just have the urge to write, about what tho?? Hmm how about a update on the past month that I have been without many things. I had always heard the phrase "Ignorance is Bliss" and thought that I understood it, but never did I until now. I always thought that people who lived without t.v, phone and internet were just crazy and lunatics, until we recently had to get rid of these very things for money sake. Well I can honestly say that my family has never been closer or more "together" than we are right now. I will confess that for the first week, of course there were so many good things on the t.v that I wanted to see, but after a few more days of just getting other things done, and reading and studying the word of God as a family and playing games and all, I just kinda forgot all about it. Another thing that I just kinda forgot was the news, and I think that I am glad about this, sure there are the weather reports that I miss or the school closings and things but what I really dont miss is hearing about all the murders, chaos and crime that has completely riddled our world. Now I am not saying that I just think that because I am not hearing it every night at 4, 6, and 8 that it isn't happening, but it is just nicer all around in this household without all that added junk. We were for a little while getting "public" wifi on my internet and that was great and a way to find out things happening in the world, but then the blasted thing decided to die and we were without that for a entire month!!! Now I am not complaing, it was in the very capable hands of my loving father who was doing his very bestest to bring this baby back to life and he was able to succeed!!! But for that entire month where we were without any way to communicate to the outside world, besides our cell phones, life was nice. No interruptions, no bad news, no nothing but us together as a family. Within these next few weeks we are planning on turning the cable and all back on, but I must say that I am sad for that day to come, I honestly am, I just know that when that day comes I will once again lose my family to that dreaded box on top of the fireplace! I will weep when that day comes.

Coolest thing ever

So for Jamey's father's day gift, i got him a photo book from shutterfly, and best of all it was free i only had to pay shipping and handling. It was the neatest thing ever. All i had to do was upload the pics, put them in and voila...super awesome personalized book. And best of all Jamey loved it! He saw it in the mail and couldn't wait to open it. It made him cry! It was so sweet and touching! I will post some pics of the book when i get home and have a minute! Thank goodness tomorrow is Friday!

Getting ready for V.B.S

This years VBS is going to be awesome, i am not going to give away to much info or anything, if you want to know you'll just have to come and watch the show!!! But Jamey is the Godfather, i will say that much! He is so handsome!